Friday Matters

Everyday Spouse

“Mom, I decided that I’m gonna do what Dad did and let God choose my wife for me,” said our son Joe when he was a teen. And that’s still his plan as a young adult. God definitely chose my husband Dan for me. I love Dan always and I like him… but not always. Dan has always called me his “Pretty Debbie” and I call him my, “Cute Husband.” We have been in places for better and for worse. It’s with respect, honor and grace that we carry on (no matter how short our hair gets or what the scale says.

When we married, I was more selfish and so I allowed God to change me and then our marriage changed for the better to. I thought, “How can I serve over being served?” Asking that question was great along with talking less and listening more too. Making a covenant with God and committing to His love makes a marriage strong. As Tim Kellor said, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved, is well, a lot like being loved by God…everyday.

Thursday Matters

Everyday Old

I am sitting in the coffee shop getting to know a new friend and I’m literally stunned to learn that she’s only 38 which means I’m twenty years older…like I could be her mom. “I thought we were in the same age zone,” I said as I headed to the bathroom. When I come out Shana asked, “Does this age difference bother you?” “Oh, I’m fine but I guess there’s part of me that hasn’t accepted the older me even though she’s wiser and more experienced.”

Real friendships of lasting value really aren’t about age; they’re about connection and give and take. I want my new friend to know that what she sees is someone that is genuinely interested in who she is regardless of really…anything. God’s friendship with us is one with no condemnation and He sees the worst of us but chooses to focus on the best of us. We all have varying degrees of decorating our outsides but just as much time, if not more, should be focused on our insides and living and walking in the grace God give us…everyday.

Wednesday Matters

Everyday Life Changing

When I’m travelling alone at a hotel, I often surf the channels on TV. Inevitably I will come upon a shopping network or paid product advertisement where I sit mesmerized and convinced that if I order in the next ten minutes this product will change my life.

One of our sons walked into the room when I was using this wand laser thing and zapping my face to get rid of the wrinkles. He tried it on his face but couldn’t stand the sting. “Mom, you’re crazy. Why do this?” “I feel it’s working,” I said. Honestly, my attitude was better because I believed this wand was making a difference by erasing years off my face. (Did I mention the whole commercial was in Spanish?). After my son left, I thought; “What really transforms me is renewing my mind from what God has to say about me. If I approach others with the love and grace God gives me, that truly is a game changer. There’s nothing wrong with primping and prep so we feel and look our best but, God sees the heart and that’s what I want Him to work on…everyday.

Tuesday Matters

Everyday Junior High

A couple of years ago I went to my old Jr. High bathroom with the full-length mirror upstairs and cried. I cried remembering my pain at 13 years old. This was the smoker’s girl bathroom where Jenny Baker appeared out of one of the stalls and said, “You don’t have to look. You know you’re pretty? Huh? I was examining my crazy skinny body with no curves except for the curve of my scoliosis. I felt ugly.

My friend Stephanie seemed to be a friend I could hold onto so I would go to Friday night football games with her. Five minutes later she’d disappear and scout for boys. I was left with some loose group of kids sitting by myself when inevitably someone would come up and say, “Ya know, after the game, Jenny wants to beat you up?” I eventually saw who I was and who Jenny was too. The sad thing is Jenny thought she knew what I felt about myself, but she didn’t. We all need to know we’re beautiful and unique in the way God created us. We just can’t always see it…everyday.

Monday Matters

Everyday Biker

As Nathan was training for America’s largest mountain bike racing series, he was thankful that biking had kept he and his brother, Kyle, connected through Kyle’s drug addiction. And thankfully in the last two years of Kyle’s life he overcame his addiction via a 12-step program and a relationship with God. Kyle died in a freak car accident which was crazy tragic. Yet there’s peace and hope that replaced the tragedy because they knew they’d see Kyle again.

The night before the big bike race Nathan made a dedication and said, “I let go of all performance pressures and made up my mind to ride for the love of God, Kyle, and the sport itself.” No matter what the results I was giving this race to God because I realized more than ever that it wasn’t about me. It was about what God was doing in and through me. When Nathan walked up to the podium for his first overall win at this huge race, he never heard such cheering. “Sure, the prestige and prize money are great” said Nathan, “but relationships and loving others is what lasts…everyday.”

Friday Matters

Everyday So Cool

I remember asking our four sons, “Who decides who’s cool? I don’t get it. You’re cool. I’ve decided it.” But we all decided that it’s “cool” to stick up for someone who’s being made fun of just because they’re different. My boys think Brandon’s cool. He was a rock star/popular football player but what also made him “cool” was his treatment of others, like Josh.

Josh’s mom, Cindy, was ready to pull him out of public school and home school him due to excessive teasing and bullying from peers. Josh had a mild case of autism. Brandon, the popular football player, who had stood up for Josh in the past, heard that his mom was considering pulling him out of school. So, he talked to his teammates and friends and stood by Josh’s side until the teasing stopped. That’s cool. We all want that feeling to belong, to know someone is for us. As Romans 8:31 says, “If God is for you, who can be against you?” You are loved. Stand in confidence and security and help others to know they’re loved too…everyday.

Thursday Matters

Everyday Blue Days

Sometimes I get stuck in blue, like I’m feeling down, sad and crabby. I wouldn’t say it’s depression but I lately I’ve been stuck a little longer in “The Land of Blue,” than I’d like. I texted my aunt this and she wrote back; “I’m sorry you’re blue. I hate that. I fight stupid insecure feelings all the time. Lies…but they feel real. Don’t feed them. Starve them.” She’s right. Feelings are powerful and sometimes so powerful that we don’t trust God’s voice and we listen to lies. So how in the world is it possible to receive a word such as “I love you,” if the lie, “I’m unlovable” thunders louder?

Ultimately, we must make a choice; either my relationship with God is real or it’s not. Setting our minds on truth, God gives us the grace to talk to Him by prayer and or sometimes singing songs aloud helps bring freedom and relief. God hears and understands you and He’s not surprised by your days of sorrow that might be blue. Psalm 16:8 says, He is right beside you all the way through…everyday.

Wednesday Matters

Everyday Billy Poetry

I’ve never met Billy, but he subscribes to the email of Everyday Matters and often sends poems from the verses I share. He is confined to a wheelchair and has a head injury. There are things he can’t do but he sure can write a poem to make you smile and reflect. Billy wrote, “This poem is dedicated to all my friends who love me without seeing me.”

When men look at us

Immediately they judge.

From the color of our skin

To the sweet taste of our fudge

And seldom do they ever

Make judgments right and pure!

For in their hearts is not

The reason or its cure

But Our Father up in Heaven

Judges all His children well

For He knows what’s in their hearts

What else is there to tell

And when He looks, He knows.

If Jesus lives in there

And He can see if love is home.

In your heart beyond compare

So please, just open up.

Your heart to God’s own Son

And then you’ll have everything

For then the victory’s won.

Thanks Billy…everyday.

Tuesday Matters

Everyday Live Love

St. Frances of Assisi said, “Preach the gospel always, and if necessary, use words.” I think what this means is “live a life of love” by how you treat others. Telling the list of rules to my non-believing friends along with statements like; “You shouldn’t do that” don’t mean a hill of beans when they don’t know and trust your love and sincerity for their lives. It doesn’t work for me either. God will judge sin. His command to us is to LOVE one another. I don’t disagree that sometimes love means speaking up, but first it’s about showing my love and building a relationship and trust with a person. This does not mean we ignore what is right or wrong, but it’s not just about saying the words. We are commanded to live it.

2 Timothy, Chapter 2 has good guidelines; “Be kind, don’t quarrel and gently instruct another when the time is right in hope that person will come to know God’s love and ways. A relationship over the rules is always what’s most winsome…everyday.

Monday Matters

Everyday Supposed To

Many of us are not fans of the words; “You’re not supposed to do that.” Sometimes, hearing those words only makes us want to do what we’re told not to. I remember my friend Karen saying, “Today I went down the road that had a sign that said; “No thru traffic” and I thought of you. I didn’t know whether to be proud or mortified.

What it comes down to is this; I don’t want to be a predictable cookie-cutter Christian, but I do what to be known as a predictable loyal and sincere friend. We all want what’s unique and special about us to be appreciated and so for many of us it is not doing things like “we’re supposed to.” The one thing I do try and do is said by Jesus in Matthew 8:22; “Follow Me.” “Yes, I'll go where He wants me to go and do what He wants me to do because He is God. He knows you’re unique and He created you for a specific purpose now and into eternity…everyday.

Friday Matters

Everyday Teen Parenting

Admittedly I’ve played the drama-queen parent to our four teenage sons. I’ve failed enough times to know what doesn’t work. Fortunately, I’ve found what does work is keeping my relationship with God grounded by trusting what He says more than what I feel. God is the model parent and out of His love He sometimes disciplines and sets boundaries for us. God wants us to succeed. He wants us to know His grace is continual and His love unconditional. The best parenting advice is to help your child know a personal relationship with Christ. We’re less likely to go against His rules when we trust the One giving them and the grace we receive to follow them.

I try to be a good example because “more is caught than taught” but Christ alone is the perfect example. The best endings to conflict are when my sons and I have stopped talking (or shouting) and listen to each other—and PRAY. Sometimes taking away the phone was an answer too. Parenting isn’t for wimps so let’s keep healthy relationships that are based on love, grace and respect…everyday.

Thursday Matters

Everyday Heaven

The older I get the more focused I get on sharing the Good News of the Gospel with others. I blurted out to my husband the other day, “we’re all gonna die.” What we do now is, of course, important, but nothing matters as much as knowing and accepting what Christ DID for us. We’re all sinners. There will never be enough good works we can do to merit heaven. Heaven is not getting angel wings because we don’t become angels. We are created in the image of God. It’s crazy to think that we continue living with a purpose and there’s eating and laughing and dancing. Heaven is perfect with no more tears or pain. The alternative place of eternity is hell, it’s not where all your friends will be because it’s eternal loneliness and despair.

By accepting the atoning sacrifice of Jesus going to the cross and paying for your sins you’re forgiven and free. There’s a complete physical resurrection for us too, just like Christ. You are created for purpose, and you’ll continue with purpose in eternity in having a relationship with Christ (and not a religion)…everyday.

Wednesday Matters

Everyday Susan Prayer

Susan was the coordinator of speakers for a conference in New York City. I was one of them. We developed a friendship of email praying, and this was way back in the day, in 2006, before texting and the smart phone took over our lives. I’m glad this memory is written down. I sensed God wanted me to pray for her husband, so I wrote, “I’m praying for a husband for you.” I then proceeded to pray for a godly and good man to enter Susan’s life. Susan was very thankful for my emails but with my husband prayer she wrote, “Actually I’ve been married for 17 years but since my husband is a pastor and he’s preparing a message for this Sunday, I know he’ll appreciate your prayer.” Embarrassing.

God did ask me to pray for her husband but not for a husband. God wants my obedience not my analysis or theories as to why He asks me to pray. It’s like the classic joke; “What’s the difference between you and God? Answer: God never thinks He’s you….” everyday.

Tuesday Matters

Everyday Look Up

Although there are downers in this life there are also lifters and in Psalm 3:1-3 the Psalmist says that despite his distressing situation he is not despairing or becoming depressed because his confidence is in the Lord, the lifter of his head. When I’m depressed it seems everything around me is falling apart. I seem to lose strength in all areas of my life and my head, hands and heart all hang down and even my eyes are lowered. I become downcast because I’m looking more at my problems rather than at the Lord.

The Lord encourages us throughout His Word to lift our heads and our hands and look to Him. In Genesis 13:14 God told Abraham, who had been shortchanged by his nephew Lot, to lift up his eyes and look around him in all directions because God was giving him all the land, as far as he could see, for his inheritance. Whatever your life is now you have only two options; give up and quit or keep going. If you’re gonna keep going you've two choices, live in depression and misery or lift your head to live in hope and joy…everyday.

Monday Matters

Everyday God Comfort

I know you’ve been disappointed, hurt or mistreated. I get it. There’s a loss and an ache that you just can’t explain because maybe you don’t get it either. 2 Corinthians 1:3 says that God wants to help by comforting you and sometimes that means going to counseling to work through turmoil but nevertheless God gives us the Holy Spirit to guide us. He’s actually called the Comforter/Counselor. He’s available 24/7.

In the early years of my marriage, I’d become angry with my husband Dan when he wouldn’t comfort me the way I thought I needed. But when I began reading the Bible consistently, I began to see a change in my marriage and in ALL my relationships because God was changing me. If our expectations are in the wrong place, we’ll always be disappointed. Of course, God uses other people to reach us, but He promises to always be our comfort and sometimes it’s through a song, a circumstance or a direct word from scripture. Seek Him. He sees you and wants to bring you comfort and hope …everyday.

Friday Matters

Everyday Jesus Loves

Jesus loves everybody and He wants ever single person to know His love. Years ago, on quick lunch break from subbing at the high school I ran home and saw Henry who was finishing some painting on our house. I asked him about his arm tattoo and when he told me what it was, I said, “Henry, I’m embarrassed but I don’t know what that means” to which Henry responded, “I’m embarrassed to tell you.” Nevertheless, it got us talking about the meaning of life and life after death.

I shared my belief in Christ. I explained my relationship with Him as a Redeemer and the One who gives us our dreams and helps us walk in and toward them. I even gave Henry a book by an author explaining his journey with God and Henry promised to write to me after he read it. AND as I headed out, I ran into George, doing the final inspection, and he added how Jesus was in the meaning in His life. Who knew a ½ hour lunch could be a revival? Jesus loves. He loves you…everyday.

Thursday Matters

Everyday Frozen

What about the mornings you can’t get out of bed because you’re frozen?  I don’t mean because of the temperature but because of fear.  I’ve had those frozen mornings where I literally put the covers over my head and think, “I can’t do this.”

I read something that said, “Think of your life as a house with many rooms. Go through each "room" and surrender both the room and the contents to God. If you have a closet full of fears, let Him control that part of your life. Invite Him into the room where you hide your insecurities and hurts. Let Him take down that monument of pride in your own abilities and talents that you have displayed in your living room.  But even after I read this I still wanted to stay under the covers.  What gets me up and out is thinking about the truth like in 2 Timothy where I read that God lives in me and His spirit is one of power and a sound mind.  I can go forward with that truth and love, and not my feelings…everyday.

Wednesday Matters

Everyday Substitute Teacher

I still remember the day of substitute teaching 11th graders with 15 minutes of free chat time before the bell rang and literally, out of the blue, Ryan shouts out; “I want to know if God’s real?” He looks at me and asks; “Can you tell me if God is real?” The next thing I know I have six boys around my desk as I share what it means to have a relationship with God.

Kinda nervously I said, "Oh, definitely, God is real. It’s not about how good we are but about how good God is. He paid the debt for our sin by His death on the cross and His resurrection power. We can either accept His gift or reject it.” Intently they listened and then Brandon declared; “I don’t believe it.” “I know it’s pretty hard to believe,” I said. “But this kind of unconditional love is real and true, and I know because I have a relationship with God.” The bell rang and they scrambled out. And I thought, “Wow, God is love and He wants all of us to know Him no matter who or where we are…everyday.

Tuesday Matters

Everyday Handling It

Have you heard this saying, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle?” like that’s supposed to be some sort of bumper sticker of encouragement? Is that even in the Bible? It’s not. You’ve probably thought if God cared so much, He wouldn’t load so many difficult things on my plate. You’ve probably said, “I can’t handle this. When I find myself in that place it’s often because I “overthink” with “what if?” It’s scary when you think you have to carry your burdens alone.

“Help, God,” is a prayer. Call on God or another to come alongside of you to help carry the burden and pray. Also know this, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man. God is faithful; He’ll not let it get to a place you can’t bear. But He will provide a way out so that you can endure. God doesn’t give us temptation; that’s our own evil desires that drag us away and entice but God does actually give us more than we can handle SO that we seek Him, of the cross, to carry us up and through…everyday.

Monday Matters

Everyday Redeemer Lives

It has always struck me that Job said, "My Redeemer lives,” when he was in such a miserable place. He didn't know the end of the book that's named after him. What he did know was the loss of his children and all wealth, livestock and material items. His health was afflicted with sores, and he was in constant pain. And he had three friends who only added to his misery, telling him he must have done something wrong. Yet Job said, "My Redeemer lives," (Job 19:25) and not, "my disciplinarian lives." In the next verse he says, "And after even this body, has been destroyed, then from my flesh or without it, I shall see God."

Obviously, he understood the greatness and omnipotence of God because he understood God in a way that wasn't just about what he was experiencing in the moment. Job had hope. But I love that he could still lament even to the point where he wanted to end his life. Whatever mess you're in, or the troubles from past mistakes or your mistreatment from others, there's a Redeemer who lives, sees and will care for you…everyday.